I am one of those people who thinks of the most random, most dramatic, silly, laughable things and I even say them out loud (most often to my dog). Those who know me semi-well know that my filter tends to be broken more often than not. I decided to capture some of these thoughts for your reading pleasure.

1. Do I smell like bacon?

I love brunching but sometimes, the money spent doesn’t match the satisfaction I get when I cook it myself. Therefore, I tend to throw on the apron and get my own brunch going. A brunch must-have is good ol’ pan-fried bacon (say that slowly). That salty, slightly crunchy goodness can make or break your brunch spread but it comes with a price. It often smells up your entire home. It’s all fine and dandy to smell that sweet scent of pig fat when you are preparing your french toast or even fixing your grits (made with margarine instead of butter or even bacon fat if you’re really from the south). It’s not so hot when you are getting dressed to leave the house and have no one to confirm, “Do I smell like bacon?” Chances are you do and you are running around town thinking you’re cute with the aroma of fried pig on your summer dress.

2. Netflix is the devil.

I was late to the Netflix game. I prided myself on not watching much TV because I was too busy. I have a ridiculous cable package that basically only gives me approximately four channels (yet still cost too much) and I only have it because it makes the internet cheaper. I recently stopped working a part-time styling job because I want to use that time to focus on my writing and building my personal dreams vs. the dreams of someone else. As I started on this entrepreneurial journey, I got Netflix because I was tired of being out of the loop on . . . well, everything! It was going to be pop-culture research which means that I would finally understand all the references on Instagram. I was going to stay on top of what America is watching (well, at least Black America). I have now binged watched “Dear White People” (which I loved) as well as badly written movies with old Black stars that are trying to keep hope alive in their acting careers. I rebuke this distraction.

3. I need to lose 10 lbs. (20) but don’t feel like going to the gym.

Apparently, everyone is talking about eating clean and strength training at the gym (and by everyone, I mean my IG feed). I know being fit is a lifestyle. I have a semi-fit lifestyle that allows me to stay in my favorite jeans but hasn’t exactly allowed me to lose this stubborn 12 (20) pounds that I have been holding on to. I struggle with “treat yourself” and “I’m the only one seeing me naked” or “Taco Tuesdays is everyday.” I know I can do better but right now, I’m not really motivated to do so. I prefer to eat my salad with fries on the side and run 2-3 miles a couple times a week. That’s better than nothing, right? I like the extra junk in the trunk, just not the junk on my arms, knees and middle section. Yep, I’m in denial. I’ll get it together. Really, I will. Must. Stop. Watching. Netflix.

4. Can I still drop it like its hot?

Yes. But my knees will pay for it in the morning. And I’m pretty sure my dog thinks its weird to do that in the kitchen with perm rods in my hair.

5. Thinking of a masterplan . . .

How can I write the book, spend time with the Lord, support her business, save the kids, work out more, serve in church, meet the guy, have fun with friends, visit the family more often, volunteer consistently, keep the hair on point, style on the side, do my nails, listen to the sermon, walk the dog, plan the next trip, attend the conference, catch-up on emails, read the book, cook dinner, wash the car and still watch Netflix? Beyonce and Oprah weren’t built in a day but I have the same 24 hours they do.

Hope you had a good laugh. Comment and let me know your random thoughts!