On her way back from the well, she saw a group of women sitting off the side of the road. There was an elderly woman sitting on a rock in the middle of them, sharing stories about a man named Jesus who had healed the sick and given sight to the blind. The other women were gathered around her feet and listening closely to what she had to say. A bit surprised to see them resting on the side of the road, she ducked off the normal path, trying to remain hidden amongst the trees and overgrown bush. Normally, she never encountered others during her daily trek to the well. After being labeled unclean due to her ongoing issue of blood, she tried to avoid the awkwardness and shame she felt around other women, so she ventured to the well a bit later in the day.

The elderly woman had a long braid of grey hair that reached almost to the bottom of her back. Her complexion resembled the same color as coffee beans and her face had multiple lines to show she had lived long and carried great wisdom. She sat up straight with strong shoulders that had not slumped after years of daily visits to the well. Her voice carried far beyond their group and she captivated everyone’s attention. Her stories spoke of how Jesus had rebuked the demons from Mary Magdalene and healed a centurion’s servant. She moved her hands with animation as if talking to children and accentuating certain parts of the story for emphasis. The listeners were glued to her every word, forgetting about the chores that awaited them back home.

When hearing the part about the servant being healed, she badly wanted to cross the invisible lines that kept her hidden from plain view, to join the others, ask questions and know all the details about this miraculous Jesus. But she knew that she couldn’t get that close without the women covering their faces and running away, as if what she had was contagious. Instead, she lingered behind a tree and listened to every word the elderly woman shared about this Jesus. 

He was a carpenter but was known for his teaching. He often spoke in parables that confused some and astounded others. Many believed he was the Son of God while others thought him to be full of blasphemy. She remembered hearing of John the Baptist and how he was preparing the way for the One to come. According to the woman’s stories, Jesus was this One he mentioned. 

She felt her pulse quicken and her excitement grow as the woman continued to speak of evidence that this man truly was the Son of God. Would she allow herself to believe that perhaps she could be healed? For the last twelve years, she had tried every remedy and took every advice that had been given but nothing had worked. Could this Jesus be the Messiah? Was He here to save them all, including her? With all of her life’s wages gone, she could not afford to do much else but believe. So she did. She believed every word she heard coming from the woman.

Lifting her face to the sky, she let her cloak fall back off of her head and the sunshine spread warmly across her forehead. She spread her arms out to her sides and turned in a circle. Hope was in the clouds and she felt her heart stir with faith. 

She hurried home and tried getting some rest before she traveled to the coast to greet Jesus. But when she laid down to sleep, her eyes would not close because she was nervous and anxious about what could happen. Instead of sleeping, she paced back and forth throughout most of the night. Her thoughts were jumbled as she tried to figure out the logistics of seeing Him and having the chance to be healed. Based on what the woman said, he traveled with other men and a few women who served his ministry. Should she try to talk to the women first so they could let her talk to him? They wouldn’t know she was unclean. She just needed to ask him for healing. Or should she be bold and just ask him for help?

“If He’s healed the others, I know He can heal me,” she whispered to herself. She dropped to her knees offering praise to God. She wanted to be prepared but at the same time, she had no idea what to expect. She began packing her travel bag to pass the time. She threw in extra cleansing cloths but she knew in her heart that she would not need them much longer.

“The Son of God has endless power. I only need to touch the hem of his garment.” She felt her heart open wide with love and faith for Jesus.

To keep from losing her courage, she started out early for the journey. It wasn’t hard to find where He was because there were crowds already gathering. She wasn’t the only one who needed to see or hear from Jesus.

The closer she got, the larger the crowds grew. She kept her head down and covered as she weaved in and out of all the people. She feared that someone would recognize her or know that she wasn’t allowed amongst everyone else, so she never stayed in one spot too long. She kept moving forward until she could glimpse His head. The men He  journeyed with kept a protective circle around Him.

She felt sweat drip down her back as she joined the throng of followers. Her breathing sped up and she could feel her heart beating in her ears. She tried her best not to trip over some of the young children holding the hands of their mothers while also not bumping into some of the elderly who were also trying to catch of glimpse of the Messiah.

The crowd suddenly came to a halt because Jesus had been stopped by a man named Jairus, a ruler in one of the synagogues.

This is my chance! She pushed forward, apologizing as she went and stooped down to crawl the last few steps to Jesus. It was as if there was a magnetic pull that she couldn’t resist that drew her closer and closer. She stretched her hand out as far as it would go and her fingertips brushed the hem of his garment. Immediately, she felt a change in her body. The ache she had grown to live with in the pit of her stomach immediately stopped and she felt a spark vibrate all throughout her body, spreading from the inside out.

“Who touched me?” she heard Jesus ask. She froze in place. How did He know she had touched Him? She tried not to panic. She needed to assemble her thoughts. She had to do it. She had no choice. She needed healing and knew He was the only way to receive it. It was worth it. Would someone turn her in?

The one called Peter said, “Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”

But Jesus responded, “Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me.”

Surprising herself, she burst threw the crowd and threw herself down in front of Jesus and his followers. She trembled, daring not look up in fear that she would see the stares or hear the whispers of others. Or worse, He would be upset with her for touching Him without His permission. 

Before anyone could grab her, she began talking rapidly and sharing her story. The words poured out of her as she explained the years she had spent secluded and alone because her body would not stop producing blood. She explained the pain she had been living with and how she no longer had money to see any other advisors to fix the issue. The tears ran down her cheeks as she professed how she wanted to move on with her life and be considered clean with friends, family and neighbors. She shared how she was tired of being frowned upon and treated like a leper because of something that was beyond her control. She felt relief as she spoke about how she would now be able to rejoin society and be apart of the community. She apologized to Jesus for her boldness but also explained how the bleeding had immediately stopped and she was healed as soon as she touched him. 

The crowd had grown quiet and she could feel her pulse in her throat as she knelt at his feet. When she looked up, a circular glow of light surrounded Him because of the bright sun behind Him. She had to concentrate so she could see his face. His skin was a deep olive and the sun peeked through the tight curls that surrounded his head. His eyes held compassion and love, making her forget the crowd that surrounded them.

He looked her in her eyes and said, “Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Him and his followers immediately began moving forward. 

As the crowd walked around her, she stayed on her knees and cried out praises of thanks while tears of joy ran down her face. Different ones patted her back or rubbed her affectionately on her head as they passed. When she stood to move out of the way, a smile spread widely across her face. She wanted to dance or jump up and down in joy. She turned back to see Him again for she knew she her eyes had beheld glory. He was already being whisked away in a different direction so she returned to her knees and continued to cry out praise and thankfulness.

She thanked God for the faith that was given to her as well as for the compassion she received. She realized the risk of what she had done and how it was He whom she needed all this time.

Author Commentary:

This story was based on Luke 8:43-44. Why write about the woman with the issue of blood? Her story of healing and how Jesus dealt with her fascinates me. She had a bold, determined faith and demonstrated courage after she had received healing. She could have ran away and never admitted to touching Jesus’ garment and went home to live in her new health. She could have been worried about what others would say about her issue or worried about judgement around what she needed healing from or how she went about getting healed. Instead of running away or fearing His response, she shared her heart with Jesus in the presence of others. While there were so many others clamoring for His attention, He responded individually to her with compassion and even spoke a blessing of peace over her. 

I believe that others were blessed by her demonstration that day. If only we could all be bold enough to share our story, our fears or our desires in front of others because of vulnerability to the One. If we could lay aside the assumptions or judgements and open our hearts the way Jesus did, perhaps we could witness more breakthrough, healing and peace.

Whatever it is you need, I encourage you to run boldly to the One who has all the answers. Be it physical, emotional or spiritual, He is capable of providing ALL you may need or want. He also provides resources through friends, pastors, counselors and advisors that can help you get what you need. You are not alone in your journey, no matter what lies the enemy tries to tell you. Go forward in the faith and courage to share your story and be blessed.

“Have you considered freezing your eggs?” I heard the stool roll across the floor then saw her head tilt to the right so she could talk with me face to face.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t this be a formal conversation? I mean, my feet are still propped up in stirrups and my privates are out in the open. I’m not necessarily a modest person but can I at least cover myself before we talk about freezing potential children? I swear the wind is blowing and I feel a chill in places I shouldn’t.

“Did you see anything of concern?”

“No concern. I just want you to think about this option if you want to have kids.” I heard the final snap of her latex gloves as she pulled them off. She pressed down on the lever at the bottom of the waist container to pop the top and drop them in.

The crinkle of the paper I was laying on was all you heard as I tried to scoot myself into an upright position with some dignity.

“This is something women your age need to think about.” She began writing something in my chart.

Women my age. Women my age? Since when did being in your late thirties become a “women of your age” qualifier? I feel like I’m still in my prime. Wasn’t I just in college? I have been running and going to the gym on the regular which has made my waist smaller and has me feeling good from the inside out. I eat a mostly vegetarian diet and I consider myself healthy-ish . . . but apparently this is not the case for my eggs. Is this what adulting as a woman is like? Having awkward conversations about your egg volume?

“Well, one thing has to happen before I have kids,” I said standing to signify that I needed her to leave the exam room so I could put my clothes back on.

“You’re not a virgin.” She said without looking at me she wrote notes in my file. Notes that no doubt said my eggs are old and she had to clear out the cobwebs to do an exam.

“I wasn’t referring to that.” Thank you very much. “I’m not having kids without a husband.”

She stopped writing and turned toward me and gave a tight smile. If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn I saw her roll her eyes as she looked away.

“Well, let me know if you want to pursue this further.” She mind as well have said, “well good luck with that whole husband thing.” She handed me the reminder appointment card that I had to fill out about my upcoming appointment before she turned and walked out of the room.

This was not how I saw this appointment ending. I was feeling proud of my celibacy journey and happy that I can now visit the OB and not have any concerns about what may show up on the tests due to my extracurricular activities. Visiting my OB was strictly for precautionary purposes to ensure I stayed in good health. I was not prepared to have to think about my egg production.

I tried not to let the conversation bother me but there was a reality to her question. I am in my late thirties and if I do want to have children, I need to think about what that may involve at this stage of life. I would prefer to spend some one-on-one time with my future husband before we consider bringing a life into this world but unfortunately, time is of the essence. I’m not sure if I want to have kids but would like to have the option.

I remember sitting in my car after the appointment and feeling a bit discouraged. Living in the Bay Area, it’s a common thing for people to get married a little later in life. It’s also a common thing to hear about women struggling to get pregnant. I know of many success stories but I also know of some that are still waiting. A nagging voice tried to capitalize on my fears and began whispering lies to me.

You’ll never have kids now.

You’re waiting for God to send you a companion and now your eggs are going to waste.

What is all of this for?

Is this really worth it?

The enemy was trying to have a field day in my mind. After one conversation from someone who doesn’t know me or my experience, I thought of every “what if?” and “what about?” that entered my mind.

Before my thoughts could indulge all the lies I heard, I turned to the Comforter who brought the story of Hannah to my attention. Hannah was a woman who was loved by her husband but could not have his kids. 1 Samuel 1:5-6 says, “But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb.”

I read this and thought about how many lies must have been floating in her head. She was dearly loved but yet, she could not produce anything to show this love. This was especially difficult because it was during a time when much of a woman’s worth was tied to her ability to reproduce (apparently, not much has changed). Yet the Lord had closed her womb. Verse 10 states that Hannah was in “bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish.”

I continued reading and learned about how Hannah prayed to God and made a vow to dedicate her child to the Lord if He would grant her the gift of birth.

We’ve all prayed prayers and given empty promises to God in times of trouble, “If you do this, then I will . . .” I believe Hannah’s vow was different because it was meant to fulfill a bigger purpose.

After Hannah prayed, she was blessed by a priest and the Lord remembered her. She soon gave birth to a son, named Samuel. True to her word, she gave Samuel to the work of the Lord and he grew to be a priest who was used in God’s plan to prophesy His truths and anoint the chosen king of Israel, King David. The same king in whose lineage, Jesus Christ was born. Because she honored her word and gave her only son back to the Lord, God blessed her with five more children. She received double for her trouble.

Some of you are struggling with getting or staying pregnant. You’re probably feeling a lot like Hannah and have repeatedly cried out in despair and bitterness. You don’t want to go to another baby shower and fake happiness when you are crumbling inside. You stay away from social media because you don’t want to see another pregnant woman in your feed complaining about how big she’s getting. Or perhaps, you have a close friend who is celebrating the exact thing you are struggling with. You may really be happy for her but at the same time, you want to ask God why your time hasn’t come.

Some of you may be in situations similar to mine. You may not necessarily be entertaining the idea of children because you are waiting on a different promise. Perhaps you are just waiting on God to do something else in your life that could profoundly impact your future. Maybe you’re waiting for the job that would double your salary or wanting your new business to take off and give you financial freedom to pursue your passion.

The Bible says that the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb. This let me know that it was purposeful. He does nothing by accident. Waiting is often a lesson and there are reasons for your seasons.

While you may not understand the tears that have stained your pillow at night or the purpose of the grief you feel as a woman, please know that your situation, like Hanna’s, has purpose. God has a plan for you and your family and what He wants to birth in you is greater than you realize.

He may want your child to be the next President of the United States or perhaps provide the next best tech strategy for the world. Or, the business you are wanting to get off the ground may be the new venture that brings jobs to a brand new generation. Whatever it is, it is a part of His plan and it is special.

I would love to tell you to do just like Hannah did and dedicate your child’s life or your answered promise to the Lord. That’s not as realistic because perhaps your business is meant to work outside of the church walls or your child may not be a minister.

Instead, I’ll ask you to learn from Hannah and what she did while she waited:

1. She prayed. Matthew 7:7 says to “ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.” Hannah traveled every year with her husband to sacrifice to the Lord of Hosts, knowing that she was working with an unanswered pray. Yet, she prayed and prayed some more. I know you may be tired of praying about the same thing but don’t stop. He hears you and He hasn’t forgotten about you.
2. She did not focus on the lies of her rival. Hannah could have been the martyr and wallow in pity because of what was said about her and to her. Instead, she came before the Lord in her distress. She behaved with dignity and did not let her mind be consumed with what the enemy had to say. Instead, she was faithful to her husband, his household and most of all, to God. Instead of letting herself be discouraged and belittled, she kept her focus on the One who could change her situation.
3. She honored her vow. A vow is a solemn promise to do a specific thing and I imagine that when Hannah made this vow, she did it with pure intentions. She truly wanted God to change her situation. And once her child was born, she completed her motherly duties and gave him back to the Lord. She was so thankful that God had answered her prayer that she showed it in her obedience. In return, God gave her even more children than she asked for.

To those who are waiting for God to birth a seed of purpose- be it children or dreams, be encouraged. What you may not know is that your child is destined for greatness and will play a major role in God’s plan. Your business or your gift may be used to ignite someone else or inspire a new thing that God desires to stir up in the hearts of others. He is an intentional Father.

Keep praying and be a woman or man of your word. Ignore your enemy and keep your eye on Him because He promises to give you double for your trouble.

“. . . And they went and came into the house of a harlot whose name was Rahab and lay there . . . And the woman took the two men and hid them . . . And, she sent them away, and they departed: and she bound the scarlet line in the window.” Joshua 2: 1, 4, 21 (ASV)

For those who don’t know the story of Rahab, she was a prostitute who lived in a wall in the city of Jericho. She hid the spies Joshua had sent into the city to view the land in which the children of Israel would eventually overtake. They went into her home to appear as commoners and get the scoop on the city.

Rahab immediately knew who the men were and used that knowledge to protect them and hide them from the King’s guards who wanted to kill them. She had faith that the God who delivered them could also deliver her. In return for her kindness and help, she asked that when the spies returned with their army, they would spare the lives of her and her family members. The men swore to protect her and had her tie a scarlet cord in her window as a symbol that whomever was in that home was to be protected during the fight.

After the spies left, all Rahab had to do was wait.

Can you imagine it? You know that an army is coming to your city to plunder and kill everything in it but you have bargained the life of your family to be saved from the destruction. You don’t know the date, time or situation in which they will return. You just have to wait.

If I was Rahab, my mind would have been moving at a thousand miles an hour and thought of every scenario possible. Are they coming in the middle of the night? If so, should I sleep in my running clothes? Should I keep my family here just so we’re ready at a moment’s notice? Will they risk sneaking me and my family out first then come back to take over the city? Would the other soldiers recognize the scarlet cord in the window or come in with swords swinging any way?

I love that the Bible doesn’t discuss what Rahab did while she waited or how long the timeframe was in which she had to wait. We know that the spies had to stay in the hills three days then travel back to camp. The entire army had to cross the Jordan, get circumcised and heal from the procedure then march around the city for seven days. We just don’t know how long this all took in total. All we know is that she had to wait.

Rahab was not your average woman. She had seen a lot and probably heard even more and was used to using what she had to get what she needed. She was also a woman of action and quick wit, so I imagine that this wait time was no walk in the park for her. The faith she had used to hide the men and ask for their protection was now the same faith she would have to draw upon while she awaited their return.

Everyone is waiting for something. Be it a dream job, having a child, buying a house, meeting a significant other, college acceptance letter – the waits seem endless. Ultimately, it’s how you wait that can make all the difference. These next few steps will help you wait purposefully:

Get prepared. Rahab may not have known the date or the time of when the spies would return but she had to prepare her family and her own personal home. Whether this was removing her home of the idols she formerly worshipped, informing her family about the amazing God of Israel or packing up her essentials, she had to operate with expectation of their return. She also had to be prepared for a new way of life. She was going to have a brand new start in a new land with God’s people. I believe that this preparation also gave her hope.

Are you getting prepared? You may have recently encountered someone who will be used by God to help you get to the next step in His plan for you. However, He can’t take you to the next level if you aren’t willing to do the work at the level you’re at right now. If you don’t discipline yourself with the struggles you currently face, how will you handle the new struggles that come with the next level? Preparation looks different for everyone but pray and ask God to show you what you need to do to get ready.

Resist past temptations. Without knowing the time or circumstance in which Jericho would be overtaken, I wonder if Rahab was ever tempted to go back to what she knew because the wait time was longer than expected. She may have had suitors knocking at her door or still pursuing her services every day. It would have been easy to occupy her time with the things of old when she had not seen the manifestation of the promise take place. Instead of falling back into old habits, she had to pursue things that would serve her in her upcoming journey.

Are you resisting past temptations? You can’t move forward if you’re holding on to the past. The past was meant to teach you a lesson that can be used in the new places God wants you to operate in. Memories are reminders of where you’ve been and they are given to us so we don’t have to return to the place we made them just to relive the moment. You can’t relive the past so put your effort into the future. Leave it behind you then use it to propel you forward.

Believe in God’s promise. Waiting can cause doubt which then causes fear and disbelief. The scarlet cord in Rahab’s window was a visual reminder of God’s promise to save her and her family. Who knows if she had prayed for a way out before hand and God sent the spies as an unlikely answer to her prayer. Regardless, when her faith waned and she doubted if they were still returning, she had a visual reminder that she would be saved. I do believe that that scarlet cord was also a foreshadow of the blood that would save all of our lives one day through Jesus Christ since Rahab was in the lineage of Christ. Just as it had previously protected the homes of the children of Israel when they were slaves in Egypt and the angel of death passed over the land, it now protected Rahab’s home from the death that would ensue in Jericho. That symbol was a promise that she could rely on during the wait time.

Are you believing in God’s promises? Perhaps He spoke to you or gave you a vision in a dream. When you are discouraged and doubt starts to creep in, hold on to the words spoken to you or the vision you’ve seen. Write it down or choose something to symbolize the promise. Reference these items whenever you need a reminder because the wait feels as if it has run on too long. He who promised is faithful!

Joshua tells us that in the end, Rahab and her family were saved. She then went on to marry, have a family in which eventually came the Savior, Jesus Christ.

You may not know the ending to your story but you can know the One who does. No wait is ever too great for Him. Be encouraged and realize that He has orchestrated an amazing plan for your life. He knows what you need and has your best interest at heart. Continue forward in faith and peace knowing that the ultimate Writer is crafting your story. Wait on him and be of good courage.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6: 12 NIV

When I was a little girl, I made the mistake of watching A Nightmare on Elm Street. My sister and I were having a sleepover with our neighbor who was more like a second sister because we all grew up together with only a fence separating our homes. It was nothing new to find us over one another’s house playing in the yard or learning the latest dances.

One night, we had the bright idea to watch a horror movie and A Nightmare on Elm Street was the winning selection. My neighbor had already watched it and said it wasn’t that scary. As the youngest of the crew, I didn’t want to come off like a wimp so I agreed to watch it even though I saw my mother’s face warning me not to watch. I had never seen a scary movie before and was still terrified of listening to Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Watching the music video was practically torture and I always covered my eyes or stopped watching when Michael started to transform into a dancing zombie.

How I made it through watching Freddy Krueger’s wrinkled skin and his claw-glove slash through unsuspecting neighborhood kids, I’ll never know. His whole premise was to stalk kids in their dreams and kill them in order to seek revenge on their parents who had burned him alive. This was heavy stuff for the 80’s and I was not prepared for the nightmares that followed.

I slept okay that night because I was sandwiched in between my sister and pseudo-sister on our floor pallet. We closed all the curtains in the room and double-checked to make sure all the doors were locked. I figured that if Freddy somehow got into the room, I could get away before he had a chance to slash me. (This might have been at the sacrifice of my sister who was positioned closest to the door but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make at the time. Priorities people.) I secretly thought my sister could defeat anything because she never seemed to be afraid of any one, not even the neighborhood dogs. However, when I got home and tried to sleep in my own bed in my big, dark, scary bedroom, I was at a loss. I would do my best to sleep with my sister or bargain my way into my parents bedroom with the hopes of a Freddy-less night’s sleep. I figured my parents could pray any scary thing away.

One Sunday, I was sitting with my parents in the grown-up church service instead of the children’s service. Our Assistant Pastor was speaking on spiritual warfare. When he explained that we are battling more than mere humans in this life, my ears perked up. Did he know that Freddy Krueger was after me in my dreams and I barely escaped each night? Had he seen A Nightmare on Elm Street too and had bad dreams? What was he doing to get over them?

He went on to read Ephesians 6:12-17 about putting on the whole armor of God. He described each piece of armor and the power we would walk in if we would only guard ourselves with this armor. My eyes got big and I thought, why had mommy and daddy never told me that we had an armor we could wear to fight the enemy? Could anyone wear this? Did it come in kid sizes?

That night, I asked my parents to pray for me before I went to sleep. I was still scared and couldn’t shake the fear that I knew what awaited me when I fell into a deep sleep. Later that night, I awoke with a start because Freddy was after me again. Did this guy not have anything better to do? Was I the only child he tormented night after night?

That’s when the sermon about the armor of God came to my mind.

I jumped out of bed and went into battle mode. I was an avid watcher of Thunder Cats (even though my mom would mute the television when they summoned the Eye of Thundera. There was not going to be any summoning of anything but the Holy Spirit in our household.) I also loved watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I felt like I could fight any enemy after seeing Michelangelo eat pizza and help defeat Shredder. I was ready to fight the very danger that tormented my mind at night and new just the thing I needed.

I suited up by starting with the belt of truth. I then added my breastplate of righteousness and put on my shoes of peace. I grabbed my shield of faith then placed my helmet of salvation on my head. I picked up by bible which was my sword of the Spirit. In my head, I was outfitted like a warrior who was ready to defeat anything Freddy threw at me. I jabbed and rolled on the floor dodging every move Freddy tried to hit me with. I held my shield up and fought off all his attempts to pierce my heart or slice off my arm. My feet were quicker than ever and I fought with the skill of any major cartoon hero. I went in for the kill with my bible and cut off his head (ok, maybe I had watched one too many action cartoons as a kid). I stood over his body in victory and said, “In the name of Jesus, you must die.” I shot my bible in the air and watched Freddy vanish from my bedroom floor in anguish and defeat.

I got back in my bed and slept soundly for the rest of the night. I never suffered another nightmare after that (I also never watched another scary movie).

I share this story because the same still holds true today. We battle more than flesh and blood but we hold the victory. The devil roams around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. His tactics are not always obvious either. He’s too cunning to come at you with the basic weapons of warfare. Instead, he whispers lies about your self-worth while you are getting dressed and looking at your reflection in the mirror. Or he may present an opportunity to compromise with a new project at work which would require you throwing someone under the bus in order to get ahead. He may even flatter you with compliments from that new co-worker who knows exactly what to say about your new shoes or new hairdo when your husband barely glanced at you in the morning.

This battle goes way back. Once the Lord created you for a purpose, the fight began. The enemy doesn’t want to see you succeed and give God the glory. He doesn’t want to see you prosper and buy that new house. Nor does he want your light to shine and inspire others to be whatever it is they are called to be. Therefore, he is always trying to undermine what God has in store for you.

To stay prepared for battle, each day you must put on the armor of God:

1. Belt of Truth: When lies about how you’re not attractive or how nobody cares about you infiltrate your thoughts, fasten on the belt of truth and remember that God said you are beautifully and wonderfully made.
2. Breastplate of Righteousness: Your heart is one of your most vulnerable body parts because it is the center of life. All the things you hold dear to you are held close to your heart. The enemy will try his best to hurt you by hurting the things you consider dear. Be it friends and family or pursuits and dreams, he’ll attack each one if you don’t protect it and cover it with the truth from God. Pray over the people and things that matter most to you.
3. Feet Fitted with the Gospel of Peace: Our feet are important because they lead us on our paths of life. We are meant to move in a forward direction yet our past behaviors and activities can shift our direction and derail us. When tempted to travel back into your past, protect your feet with the readiness of the gospel of peace. Going back can awaken anxiety and discontent. Stay ready to flee danger with quick feet, then seek peace and pursue it. The peaceful paths you’ll follow will lead you away from destructive people and behaviors.
4. Shield of Faith: The enemy will throw darts of doubt, fear and disbelief to discourage you and keep you stagnant. He doesn’t want you to dream, learn new things and experience new opportunities. When you are feeling discouraged, hold up your shield of faith and stand on the promises of His word. You are more than a conqueror and He who promised is faithful.
5. Helmet of Salvation & Sword of the Spirit: Our minds are exposed to so much everyday through various avenues such as social media or television. Be selective about what you expose your mind to because in doing so, you protect it from negative influences. If you struggle with lustful thoughts, listening to R. Kelly’s 12 Play is probably not the best idea. If you have feelings of hatred towards another race or political group, watching the news non-stop will most likely feed the wrong thought patterns. Turning off the TV never hurt anybody. Instead, spend time in the word of God so you know how to combat the propaganda that is aimed at your mind. Your mind is one of the greatest gifts which makes it the hardest to protect. Put good in, get good out.
6. Pray: I believe this is one of the most dangerous weapons we can yield against the enemy. He’ll do everything in his power to stop you from talking to God because he doesn’t want you to develop your own personal relationship with Him. Praying doesn’t have to be some sanctimonious experience. Just as you talk to your friends, talk to God. He’ll reveal His true character and open your eyes to His constant existence in your life.

The next time you face a difficult situation or feel like you’re under attack, go to battle like that young girl in the bedroom fighting Freddy Krueger. She was fearless and victorious because she knew she was guarded in God’s best. Put on the whole armor of God and go in for the kill because you’ve already got victory on your side. The great I AM has never lost a battle and the enemy already knows he’s defeated. Move forward with that truth and no battle you face will ever be the same.

Lately, I’ve been contemplating my life and career choices. I’m wondering if I am doing what God would have me to do at the time I’m supposed to be doing it. Am I behind? Should I be doing more? Am I working at my full potential? It seems as if things aren’t happening at the time and speed in which I would prefer. One morning as I sat down to have time with the Lord, he put the story of when David was first anointed King in front of me and opened my eyes to see a new perspective on a prelude to victory.

1 Samuel 16:14 – 23 Is the story of when Saul had an evil spirit that could only be soothed and removed when David, a skilled musician, played the harp for him.

Prior to David playing the harp to soothe Saul, he had just been anointed king by Samuel. This ruddy, beautiful-eyed, handsome shepherd boy was chosen as the new king of Israel out of all of his brothers. Yet, after he was anointed, he was sent back into the fields to continue watching over his father’s sheep.

Hold up. How do you go from being anointed as king to having to go back out and sleep in the field with the sheep? How do you go from being told you were chosen to rule over God’s people to making sure each of your Daddy’s sheep is accounted for?

1 Samuel 16:14 says “Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him.” Saul’s servants stepped in and recommended that he have someone anointed come in and play for him to soothe his spirit and provide some relief. Lo and behold, they bring in David, mighty man of valor, God’s chosen, to play for him. Do you think this was a coincidence?

Absolutely not.

The Lord put that evil spirit on Saul so he would need to be soothed. I also believe that the Lord put David on that servant’s mind as a solution to Saul’s agony. God is always working behind the scenes. He places favor on us that puts us in the right places at the right time that He sees fit.

Think about it: David became an armor bearer for the man in whom he would replace as king. This one threw me for a loop. David had to serve the king as an already anointed king before he could officially be king (say that slowly).

It makes sense though. As a young shepherd boy, David was hardly ready to walk into the kingdom and rule God’s people. Nope, God had to put him in a position to serve so he could walk in the purpose that was pre-destined for his life. Being an armor-bearer was David’s prelude to victory.

It’s almost as if God said, “Let me give you a taste of what will all be one day yours. Go on in there and play for King Saul so he will learn to love you while you become familiar with the kingdom and how it works.” God set David up so that not only would he know the inner workings of the kingdom, he would have favor with the people and be in a position to take over right where he was needed.

What prelude does God have you in right now? Perhaps you have been anointed to start your own business, write a book, lead a church, become a leader in your company . . . and yet, you haven’t seen any of it come to pass yet. Maybe you’re working for that guy you don’t really like or you are serving in your church and haven’t heard anything else about what ministry you are called to lead. Maybe the right position for you has yet to open up and you feel like you’re stuck in a role that doesn’t cater to your full skillset and capabilities.

Whatever it may be, have faith that God’s favor is on you and He is readying the circumstances-  just like He did with David. Don’t discount what your prelude looks like. The boss that you don’t like could be the one who recommends you for that new position due to your good attitude and hard work. The work you are doing in church may connect you with someone who knows of a church who needs a new pastor. That side hustle may be seen by the right person who is looking to invest in a smart business venture. Whatever it is, know you are there for a reason, stay patient and humble.

After David was anointed king, he went back to being a simple, patient shepherd boy. While he waited, God put him in a place of service so he could learn and then receive the future blessings that would manifest in his life.

Everything is not always as it seems.

God is always working on our behalf. He has exciting, amazing plans for each one of us. I believe He is going to do exceedingly and abundantly above what we could ever ask or think. Stay in position and watch Him work. Trust His process and lean not to your own understanding. He will reveal your path in due time. You could be living the prelude to your victory at this very moment.

I recently attended the She Speaks Conference from Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina. I was so stoked about the weekend and excited for what I would learn. I remember lying in bed and thinking about the possible outcome of sharing my book ideas and future dreams. I was excited to invest this much time (and money) in my dream.

I sat in a room full of women who were just like me— thinkers who were making doing a reality. I was high on the energy of being surrounded by Godly women who were on a mission to make a new lifestyle out of their God-given craft. While on a different path, we all had a similar calling: to spread the love of Jesus through written and spoken word. It was an amazing experience that truly inspired and reminded me that I am on the right path.

However, it was also a bit overwhelming.

On the last night of the conference, I felt my high coming down. We attended session after session that discussed what you need to do as a new writer, what you should expect, how you can do it, what will be expected of you and why. My mind was swimming and I didn’t really know how to process everything. I felt the urge to cry and smile all at the same time.

Prior to leaving for the conference, I read Genesis chapters 6-8 about Noah and his journey with the ark. This was always a story that I remembered growing up in children’s church and I almost laughed that this was what I was reading. I already knew what happened and felt like I should have been reading something a bit deeper, especially since I was heading out to a new venture. Maybe something by Paul or about the story of Jesus’ time on earth. I wanted God to give me a revelation and didn’t see that happening in the story of Noah.

Little did I know, God was arming me with what I needed after the conference.

As I walked back to my hotel room that night, I immediately went into “figure it out” mode. I started creating lists in my head and strategizing with how I was going to get things done and tackle what seemed like a mountain of a job. I felt my spirit sinking as the list grew longer and the realization of what was required began to sink in. I was starting to question if my writing was really meant to be something for others to read. Was writing a book really for me? How was I supposed to do this, work full time, stay active in my church and have a social life? It all seemed impossible and I wanted to give up before I even truly started.

That’s when God brought Noah back to my mind.

God gave Noah specific instructions on how to build the ark and what it was for. He went over the measurements, materials needed and instructions on how to build it. He also described where the door would have to be, the position of the window as well as how many decks were needed. He included clear instruction on who would enter with Noah and how many of each animal or species Noah had to bring. God even told him about how he would have to gather and store enough food for his family and the animals.

The Bible doesn’t say that Noah was a skilled craftsman or that he built arks for a living. It doesn’t even say that rain had come on the earth before and that Noah knew what that experience would be. It just says, “Noah did everything as God commanded him.” (Genesis 6: 22).

Noah’s obedience moved me. I find it fascinating because my operational, type-A-tendency mind would have went straight into question mode:

How will I know what to do? 

Am I qualified to complete the task?

How long will it take?

Are you going to send me help?

Why me?

I wonder if any of these questions went through Noah’s mind because God was asking him to do something unheard of and it was no easy task. I’m sure people probably thought Noah was out of his mind building this humongous ark, then gathering animals in pairs of two. If Noah had lived in the age of social-media, I’m sure he would have been bombarded with opinionated non-believers who took their own pictures and added smart sayings or phrases to make memes and ridicule his work. I’m sure people made an effort to go by his house or the area where he worked just to see what “crazy Noah” was up to. They probably mocked, ridiculed and planted seeds of doubt with their words and criticisms.

Yet Noah kept building the ark.

I sometimes wonder if some of the naysayers were part of Noah’s own family or friend circle. Did they see the vision that God had given him or were they too busy whispering how unrealistic it was? Did they support his efforts and bring him lunch when he worked around the clock? Did they help him gather materials or make sure that he was able to get a good night’s rest because he had to get to work early before the heat of the day became too strong? Were they tempted to jump on the ark-building bandwagon and show support for someone who was doing something new and different? Did they wonder what the ark was for and what he was going to do with it?

Noah’s ark was a God-ordained instrument that had to be created and used to fulfill God’s purpose. It may have come out of what was presumably seen as no where but ultimately served an important purpose.

You have an ark inside of you. It’s big, grand, new and explicitly for you. Perhaps God has planted a dream, business, book or project inside of you and just needs you to put forth the effort. He may even be waiting on you to humble yourself or submit to His will so he can fulfill His purpose for your life. You’ve let your fear of the process or insecurities stop you from pursuing your purpose. Or, you realize that pursuing this dream means that you will lose the control you think you have over your life. Maybe you’ve even had people closest to you doubt your process because it doesn’t look the way they think it should.

At times like this, recall how God blessed Noah. He gave the animals obedience, made the materials available and gave Noah the physical and mental ability to complete the task. Noah was 600 years old when he entered the ark. Your age, background and situation do not matter to God. Ignore the naysayers and don’t let seeds of doubt take root in your heart. Instead, rely on God and trust His promises for your life. He has plans for you that will not harm you but will instead prosper you and give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Noah and the ark is no longer a children’s tale. It is a reminder that God is sovereign and able to do above and beyond you could ever think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Walk in that power and know that you were created to do great things of which could encourage people thousands of years from now. Someone is waiting on your ark to be built.

Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on.  When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” -Mark 2: 4-5 (NIV)

This scripture is referencing a time in history when Jesus preached in Capernaum to a crowd of people. Can you picture it? Jesus is in a house or gathering place and is telling them about grace, love and the mercy of God. I imagine the crowd was similar to church on Easter Sunday- you had to get there early to get a seat or even be seated in the overflow. In attendance, there were probably believers who hung on his every word and felt the sweet peace of being in the presence of the Almighty. There were probably people in need of miracles and knew that seeking His face was the only hope they had for recovery. Some were probably curious to see if the rumors they heard were true. Could he really heal the sick and raise the dead? I’m positive there were some who wanted to be in the mix just so they could say they were there. I see people peeking through the windows and spilling out into the street hoping to get a glimpse of or hear from the Messiah.

Four men came to the place carrying a paralyzed man but couldn’t get in to see Jesus due to the crowd. In my head, I imagine that the four men were perhaps relatives or life-long friends of the paralyzed man. Word had spread that Jesus was back in town and they figured this was the best time to get healing for his condition. As they approached the house and saw that it was too crowded to get in, they decided to go through the roof and lower the man down to Jesus.

Think about that.

When they saw that going inside the conventional way was not possible, they decided to go through the roof to get this man healed. Logistically, this had to be a nightmare. They had already carried the man to the house from who knows where. Now, they had to go get tools so they could dig through the roof to create an opening large enough to fit him through it. Once the opening was made, they needed to actually get the man up on the roof. Then, they had to create some type of contraption that would lower him down to Jesus.

The scripture says, “When Jesus saw their faith . . .” (emphasis added). Who is your “their”? Who do you have in your circle that is bold enough, strong enough, innovative enough, wise enough, resilient enough and quite frankly, crazy enough to think, “well, the door won’t work so let’s go through the roof.” Talk about #squadgoals. The verse doesn’t say anything about the paralyzed man calling out to Jesus or one of the four explaining why they were taking such drastic measures. Jesus saw their faith and I believe He saw their hope and heard their prayers.

Again, I ask, who is your “their”? Who you keep around you can be vital to your life. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ “ Who you allow around you, to speak over you and speak into you can be detrimental to your future. Words have power and if those around you are not building you up with words of positivity, love and joy, you need to re-examine your relationship with those individuals.

A sister in Christ once shared with me that as a single woman, her faith in getting married had waned and she felt discouraged about her future. She wasn’t sure if it was still going to happen and she was losing faith. She surrounded herself by Godly women who held her up in prayer and confessed on her behalf that marriage was still in her future and asked God sustain her while she waited. My sister friend is now a happily married woman who was blessed with a Godly man. Just like the four men, her friends shouldered her burden and took her issue before the Lord on her behalf. I believe their tools to take the roof off consisted of prayer, fasting, worship and tithing- all on behalf of their dear friend. God saw their faith and honored their prayers even when she didn’t have the strength on her own.

If you are waiting on God to move in your life, be it healing, restoration or the fulfillment of dreams, surround yourself with spiritually-minded people who will boldly act on your behalf and have enough faith to take the roof off!

I went out on limb and pursued a new opportunity. I believe that you have to acknowledge God in all your ways so he can make straight and plain your path (Proverbs 3:5-6). So, before moving forward, I prayed about it and fasted so I could have clarity around a definite yes or no from God. I can’t say my yes was exactly definite. Let me explain.

I’ve noticed that when God wants me to make a decision about something, he gives me unrest. Not to be a creepy Christian but I believe God speaks to us in different ways, often unseen or inaudible. There have been many times when I’ve asked God to reveal his plan to me or show me what to do. I feel like he does it by putting me in a state of unrest and disrupting my peace.

For example, when I was looking for a dog, I went to the shelter to see what the options were. I heard that adult dogs from shelters make great companions. There was one in particular that I thought would be right for me. He was small, slightly shy but sweet and a bit scrappy. He warmed up to me and even had the approval of my friends who joined me on the search. I just knew he was the one.

However, I didn’t want to make a hasty decision because after all, this is something I would have to keep alive and live with until death do us part (I know, I know – it’s just a dog but still!). So, I went home and prayed about it. I told my family members and friends about my choice and they prayed with me. I researched the mix of his breed, doggie training classes and the type of food and toys to get for your new dog. But, the next few days, I was unsettled spiritually and physically. I couldn’t sleep and kept waking up several times throughout the night. It felt like there was a gentle nudge telling me that I was about to make a mistake. I was borderline in a bad mood and on the verge of tears for no real reason.

The night before I had to go back to the dog shelter to confirm my decision, I was looking online at other dog options. I came across this doberman/hound mix that was a medium-sized pup, good with being by herself and potty trained. I obsessed over her profile by reading her medical history repeatedly and sending pictures to my family and close friends to get their thoughts. I prayed that God would show me what to do but in the meantime, I filled out the adoption application and sent an inquiry email to the foster parent in an attempt to know more about her. That night, I slept so sound and peaceful and woke up with a sweet positivity in my spirit.

I could go on with additional examples but this same unrest attacked me again about this new opportunity. My sleep was interrupted with thoughts and dreams about what this new opportunity would do. I had ideas and excitement about the impact I could have on others and how I could help to make a larger difference. I tossed and turned each night until I made up in my mind that this was the right thing to do.

I followed all the necessary steps and had some amazing conversations that made me think this was definitely a go. I was feeling confident and strong about the new doors that would open and daydreaming about the new possibilities. I was hesitant to get too excited but it was as if I could see the favor sitting on my shoulders. I continued to pray that God’s will would be done.

Needless to say, I was surprised and disappointed when I learned that the opportunity was no longer an option for me.

I knew that God had answered my prayer about his will over my own but I did wonder “well, why did you have me go through all of that if it wasn’t for me?” I think its okay to come to God honest, open and raw. But as soon as those words formed in my head, “God is working on your behalf,” also popped into my mind.

I believe that pursuing this new opportunity through to the end put some other things in motion. God, as always, is working behind the scenes and it’s not my job to know what he’s doing or how. My job is to trust him, thank him for allowing me to try something new and put my faith in his ultimate plan.

Until God reveals what the next step is, I am going to stay positive and stay the course. Faith is often the unseen and the inaudible. When I shared my experience with a trusted advisor, I was given great advice about how to handle my current state: “bloom where you are planted.” And that is exactly what I plan to do.

I haven’t had a real date in two years. And by real date I mean, an interested guy asks me to go to a specific location, perhaps a meal or activity of some sort, so we can talk and enjoy one another’s company with the intention of getting to know one another on a more personal level. (Some of you are literally asking yourself- does that even happen anymore?) Now, I have had a my fair share of meet-that-day and end up hanging out later but mostly because we’re in the same vicinity or with mutual friends. I’m not knocking that experience but even those have been few and far between.

Whenever I tell someone about my two year dating hiatus, they automatically assume that its by choice. I guess, to some extent, it is. I am not a random dater. I don’t believe in dating just to have something to do. I’m a busy woman and I almost always have something to do. However, when it comes to spending one-on-one time with someone, I reserve that for a person I have a genuine interest in getting to know and not just out of boredom.

This wasn’t always the case, especially around Valentine’s Day. I used to have a fallback or back-up dude that I could hang with or rely on in times of boredom/loneliness or an unexpected dating dry spell (sidenote: loneliness/boredom often get confused. You may not be lonely. Instead, you may just need to do something with your idle time so you’re not bored). I would either receive the “hey stranger” text, which is always a clear indicator that its cuffing season or that he was having as much inconsistency in the dating world as I was, or I would get the random phone call because he had a dream about me or I just conveniently crossed his mind two weeks before Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been one to turn down a delicious meal, especially when I can get cute and wear that new dress or pair of shoes that I bought just for these type of occasions, so I was always down for the cause.

After while, I found myself feeling empty. It was all so fleeting. I even felt convicted about using these men for my intermittent entertainment. I prayed that anybody who is not meant to be my future husband or anyone that could possibly deter me from God’s will would be removed from my life or prevented from entering. Be careful what you pray for! From that moment on, it seemed like every man who I even thought was cute would disappear from the face of the earth before I even knew his name. If a guy did show interest, I would pray about it that night and lo’ and behold, I would never see him again. They left the church, got new jobs, moved to another city or changed their commute . . . at least that the way it appeared to me. I was discouraged. My desire to connect with someone real seemed farther and farther away. I had given my love story over to God years ago and here I was trying to write it myself because it didn’t seem like He was putting words on the relationship page of my story fast enough. I found myself wanting to go on these so-called dates to get through the commercialized lover’s holiday that somehow managed to make you think that just because you don’t have a date for this particular night, you’re not loved.

Don’t believe the hype.

Over the past two years, I have been intentional when spending time with people. God has infused my life with rich friendships, strengthened familial bonds and instilled me with new dreams and inspirations. I am never alone unless I choose to be. I purposely schedule alone time to do a little bit of nothing. I might do my nails, go to the spa, go enjoy a nice dinner or bake a sweet treat for my co-workers. I always have someone to call if I need an encouraging word or good laugh. I have real, loving friends near and far who I can travel with, have deep conversations or just say something inappropriate or borderline ignorant and not get the side eye in response (well, they might give me the side eye but not in a judgmental way).

I finally understand what Paul spoke about in Philippians 4:11-13. I know how to truly be content in whatever stage God has me in. I know that my joy does not lie within the celebration of a holiday but instead in God’s mighty power. He has given me true joy that stems from the depth of my soul and I see it all around me. I am not consumed with the here and now but know that He is intentional and has an amazing plan for every year of my life.

If you’re are feeling some type of way (do people say that anymore?) about your relationship status or where God has you at this stage in your life. Be encouraged. He who promised is faithful.